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Confirmation of Calling – 10/24/08

I love saying that.
Confirmation of Calling.
Maybe it’s not, maybe it is.
Maybe I should simply say Confirmation of the Holy Spirit.
or Confirmation of James 4:17.
or Confirmation of the love of God, the goodness of God.
He blessed me this past weekend, and I want to grasp that blessedness for the rest of my life.
I hope that others might be blessed. That is the point of course. To bless others through God blessing me.

Hebrews and Ezekiel are still talking with eachother. I’ve not journaled about it, but I’ve been seeing some things.
In Ezekiel 40, where the angel shows up to Ezekiel, he says Son of man, look with your eyes and hear with your ears and pay attention to everything I am going to show you, for that is why you have been brought here. Tell the house of Israel everything you see.

Imagine how amazing it would be to hear. “Look and listen! This is why you’ve been brought here! This is your purpose! Your whole life has brought you to this point. Look! Listen! Pay attention! And tell others what you experience!’
To get a full confirmation like that would be great… wait, did I get something like that?
like it, yes. it? not that I know of.
But I think that the examples of Ezekiel and Isaiah and others are the exceptions, not the rule. They hear God speak to them and witness very clear things, and then report them.
Or what if it was fuzzy? What if it was vague for them, and only in hindsight did they understand it (or partially understand)
Either way, it’s encouraging, because they either:
-Experience God the same way we do- in a hazy, fuzzy way- and thus we are brothers in slight confusion
-Experience a God that is so remarkable and true that they have such amazing memories and images and visions and messages
So God is true, no matter what.
And what are we supposed to do with that verse? Can we always look, listen, and pay attention. Maybe not 100% 100% of the time, but maybe 21% 100% of the time, or 100% 35% of the time. It can be both, I think. We can go through life trying to be aware of God, and then have times where we are truly devoting ourselves to experiencing Him (i.e. devotions…) We flicker on and off, but when we’re on, we’re on, and it happens like a flourescent bulb- it flickers, but overall, it’s usually almost always on. That’s how it is with us.
I think…

O God, that I might have more certainty. And that I might have more faith in uncertain situations.




Ezekiel 34 – 10/18/08

Sometimes I wonder if God desolates and destroys so that His People can have a chance to restore and redeem, to show love and grace, to help and serve, to reach and preach.
Edom was destroyed because of its evil deeds, yes. And then, the Israelites were not supposed to show mercy, yes. But we have a new command: Love one another.
And so when other people lose their “life” (things that make up their life) and curse God and wonder why He’s done this, first we must help them. We can share with them what God has said, but, remember, we must be “speaking the truth in love” (eph 4:15)
So, God destroys but he rebuilds through us, His Body.



God, our Shepherd and High Priest, who saves us, leads us, and makes sure we don’t fall away – 10/17/08

Ezekiel 34 and Hebrews 5
God is Our Shepherd.
God is Our High Priest.
When others lead us wrongly, He comes in and takes over.
When we are struggling, He comes in and helps us, because He has been where we are.

11’For this is what the Sovereign LORD says:
I myself will search for my sheep
and look after them.
12 As a shepherd looks after his scattered flock when he is with them,
so will I look after my sheep.
I will rescue them from all the places
where they were scattered on a day of clouds and darkness.
13 I will bring them out from the nations and gather them from the countries,
and I will bring them into their own land.
I will pasture them on the mountains of Israel,
in the ravines and in all the settlements in the land.
14 I will tend them in a good pasture,
and the mountain heights of Israel will be their grazing land.
There they will lie down in good grazing land,
and there they will feed in a rich pasture on the mountains of Israel.
15 I myself will tend my sheep and have them lie down, declares the Sovereign LORD. 16 I will search for the lost and bring back the strays.
I will bind up the injured and strengthen the weak,
but the sleek and the strong I will destroy.
I will shepherd the flock with justice.

That last line is what God does: He rules with justice.

In Hebrews, we see another picture…

Every high priest is:
selected from among men
and is appointed to represent them in matters related to God,
to offer gifts and sacrifices for sins.
2He is able to deal gently with those who are ignorant and are going astray,
since he himself is subject to weakness.
3This is why he has to offer sacrifices for his own sins, as well as for the sins of the people.
No one takes this honor upon himself; he must be called by God, just as Aaron was.
So Christ also did not take upon himself the glory of becoming a high priest.
But God said to him, “You are my Son; today I have become your Father.[a]”[b] 6And he says in another place, “You are a priest forever, in the order of Melchizedek.”[c]
7During the days of Jesus’ life on earth,
he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears
to the one who could save him from death,
and he was heard because of his reverent submission.
Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered
9 and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him
10and was designated by God to be high priest in the order of Melchizedek.

In Hebrews 4, at the end we see this:
16 Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

God is Our Shepherd who rules with justice and our high priest who rules with mercy
We need both
I need both

God, please do according to me what I deserve. Let my punishment and let the consequences for my sins fall on me, whether it be pain or guilt or shame. But let it fall on me so that it may destroy the greater evil, the sin in me. Lord, I let go. Or at least I try.
And God, thank you for your mercy. I pray that you might forgive me and that we might be able to walk together along this road, with nothing in between us. Lord, I give over this sin and move on. In your grace and power.


Ezekiel 30 and Hebrews 1 – 10/13/08

Ezekiel 30- Hebrews 1
The day of the Lord is a day of fear and trembling, power and might, doom and destruction
The son of the Lord is a man of radiance and glory, love and truth, grace and salvation
How do they match up?
In Ezekiel 30, it talks of God using Babylon to take down Egypt- evil to estinquish another evil.
In Hebrews 1, we hear about how Christ is better/more important/greater than the angels.
Bad to stop bad
Good over good
Of course, aren’t they connected?
The death of Christ and the Doom by Babylon
The death of Christ was horrible, painful, ugly, evil and sin-wrought. But it killed an even greater enemy- Sin and Satan and Death itself.
The attack of Babylon was no doubt full of pain and wrought with death. But it destroyed another enemy- Egypt

We see Egypt as the symbol of sin, time and time again. So God uses evil to take us out of another evil? Yes. maybe so. ?
Maybe it shows how God can use the effects of our sin to kick us back out of the sin. Like how Jesus took on the punishment so that the actual “thing” would be gone. Of course, it’s all to get rid of a greater enemy. God uses pain, guilt, hurt, stress, etc. to get at the core problem- and destroy it.
We have to see through the bad stuff and see that He’s doing it for greater Good. Because He is. He is.

And to bring in Hebrews 1… if I can… *gulp*
Just as there is a Bad badder than the bad, there is a Good gooder than the good.
There are many things in the Christian faith that we cling to- The Word, Prayer, Worship, Missions, Asceticism, Tithing, the Church, even Faith, Hope, Love, Joy…
and so we hold hands with them, keep them as our friends that help us know our Friend… but we must not let go of the sight of our Friend. Christ, the visible God we can know. He is our Good. He is the One to which all these goods point. We must follow their pointed fingers and come to Him, “the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being”.

God, keep our eyes on the Good. Help us see it in the bad and through the good. Rid us of the Bad, and bring us to the Good.



Full Life- 2 Months Later- 10/9/08

Okay, so 2 months ago I wrote a note about my life… Here is most of it…

* I miss living a life with the things that fill up my life.
*Imagine life as a glass. You can fill your glass with all the things you love. But sometimes it gets so full, it overflows and gets stressful and overwhelming and you get exhausted about everything. So you empty it out and just relax for a bit. Or a long, long time.

* My glass has been empty, and I feel somewhat empty. I’ve been filling it with:
– TV
– Sleeping In
– Movies
– Relaxation
– Internet

* And it doesn’t fill me up. I need to fill my glass with
– Friends
– Engaging Reading
– Doing jobs that need to be done (researching colleges, cleaning up my house)
– Working with younger people
– Things that matter
– Well, um- God.

———— WELL, HOW AM I DOING NOW? ————-

– TV- not much, actually. wow. weird. but good. :)
– Sleeping in- Actually, just sleep itself has been bad. Whether it’s just choosing sleep over doing homework, spending time with God, being smart, etc.
– Movies- not usually.
– Relaxation- Yeah. I’ve been learning that sleep and relaxation is that which you pepper your life with. it is not a dish or a main course. It is seasoning and spice that makes life good.
– Internet- Yeah, mainly facebook and email and myspace and random searching. But not that bad.

– Friends- Yes. I’ve found such great community in the LEAD. Maybe not all are best friends, but I have some GREAT friends. Truly great. And I love to talk, spend time with them, grab lunch, hang out. Sometimes, too much
– Engaging Reading- Lately, I’ve been doing some great reading. Both in school and out of it. Finished Knowing God recently, and am digging into the Yancey and Buechner books I got for my birthday. Yay.
– Doing jobs that need to be done- FAILURE. I’m bad at getting the necessary stuff done. I need to take joy in each of these little jobs.
– Working with younger people- I originally saw this semester as the semester I would devote to working with kids and discovering what area of children’s work I should pursue. That’s been baloney. I’ve been so busy, that even though I’m supposed to do some work with kids for a class, I haven’t been able to. It was great to go home and see some cool people back home, but I need to find some people around Waco to be pouring into.
– Things that matter- Recently I was learning from Seneca about how to live a full life, but for the past couple days, I haven’t been wise. I need to jump back on the smart living bandwagon. Because there’s a band. And it’s rockin.
– God- God, how are we doing? I feel good. Been reading Your word lately. Been praying between classes, a word per step, slow but steady. Thanks for grace. Thanks for Your work in my life.

Life’s definitely full. Maybe not fully fulfilling, but full. Thank you God. And thanks me.
Much love.

It’s amazing how great a day can be and how it can just… turn. – 10/9/08

Titus 2 and Ezekiel 23
Lord, let me work on self-control, so that I can be your man. Help me to move from a young man to an older man. Let no one despise me, but let them see the good I do, and let me be eager to do good.
Attack me if you have to, but let my sins begone. I want to no longer have these sinful desires. You say that I will lose them. But I will also lose much and endure much pain. Lord, let your will be done. That’s all I can say.
That’s all I will say.
Your Boy