Three words, which individually are fine, come together and wreck havoc on a person’s physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being.
Up- Usually I like being up. It means I’m awake and living life.
Late- I’m usually late, in the day and at night. I’m used to that…
Up Late- I’m usually up late, watching TV or reading.
Late Thinking- I guess that’s procrastination in motion- and I’m used to that.
Up… Thinking – Positive Thinking? I like that as well. It’s a great thing.
But, Up Late Thinking means one thing and one thing only.
AGGGHHOJAIWENRLASDOIFJASIDNF….
Brain Mush
I’ve enjoyed a simple day. I slept in, and I’ve been needing the sleep. Then I went to go see a movie with a good friend and we talked for a little bit. I spent the evening with my family, watching “Music and Lyrics” and “Knowing”- two very different movies. I relaxed and worked on my latest ru, and after a while, headed to bed. But, there’s a lot of thoughts racing through my mind. It didn’t help that a friend texted me as I was going to sleep and “perked my curiosity”… I was already thinking about where he is and it just fed the flames.
My friend’s out at Camp Good News, in Forest Glen, in Huntsville, TX, i.e., my home.
I’ve gone there since I was eight years old, worked there since I was 15, and made some lifelong friends there (although, I don’t think I can say “lifelong friends” til I’m 86 or something…). It’s where I was fed as a young Christian, it’s where I rededicated my life to Christ and really started my Christian walk, and it’s where I saw God move in many ways and help me understand my vocation. I love the place, the people, the principles, and the part I’ve been able to play at camp for the past few years. But this year, God did some recasting, and I’m no longer in that production. (To borrow more theater terms…)
He placed me here at Cypress, which has been good. I’ve seen little bits of good that I’ve done or experienced. But it’s not the same as camp. In many ways. I miss it. I wish I was there but also love being here. Like always, I’m torn between two places. Once it was England and Norway, then it was Norway and Cypress, then it was junior high and high school, then it was high school and college, CCS and Baylor, Cypress and Waco, CBC and… where? What’s interesting, is that for all that time, from age eight (when we moved to Norway) and onward, I’ve had camp as a retreat, a safe place, a home away from home. Twelve straight years. There’s very few things that have been that consistent in my life, after many moves and many changes in life, other than my family/friends and my faith. And my Father. Now that camp is “gone”, for me, for now, at least, what must I rely on? Those things that have been faithful over the years. My family- I love being here and spending time with them, even though we mainly only watch movies and TV and sit around together. For the first time in a long time, I’ll be around for my mom’s birthday– hopefully we can do something special. Friends- This has been hard, because I’ve had this huge chunk of time to be home and see people- but time has flown by, and there’s still so many people I want to spend time with. This doesn’t mean I’m popular- only that God’s given me many chances to serve and love others. Faith- I sure hope that I’m back on track, faithwise. College life has been hard, and knocked me out of consistent pursuit of God. I want to want Him more, I want to want my faith to grow- and I think it is. My Father- He is so faithful. So good. So present. I wish I could realize it more- more often, more potently, more consistently. He is the God that was there at Camp Good News and is there at Camp Good News- the God that led me through the years at Cypress Bible Church and is still leading here at Cypress Bible Church- the God that has me home- the God that gives me home- the God that is my home.
I must remember to make Him my rock, my refuge, my safe place- because in the end, He is the only thing that doesn’t change. He’ll always be there- and I hope to be there with Him.
http://evanlycalling.blogspot.com/2009/07/up-late-thinking.html