Welcome to the Archive at EvanWeppler.com!

Sounds
1. Freshman Year at Baylor– a mix CD from my friend Luis, soundtracks from the Tarzan musical, Oceans Twelve, Remember the Titans
2. Daycamp Week One at Camp Good News, 2007– Picaresque by The Decemberists
3. My roommate from freshman year– The Beatles
4. The tortilla maker we have back home– the sound of a pig squealing (cause that’s what it sounds like, and the first time I heard it, I thought my mom had brought home a pig!)
5. Seagulls from the seas of Norway– the sound that comes from blowing through the small hole in mechanical pencil lead containers
6. Junior high years at Cypress Bible Church– Relient K’s Anatomy of Tongue In Cheek and Two Lefts Don’t Make A Right, but Three Do
7. The trip through Germany, Austria, and Italy my family took, 2000 – Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat Soundtrack
8. Color Wars at Camp Good News 2008– “Jesus Freak” by DC Talk and “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen
9. My first “break-up”– A mix CD I made (ironically, before the breakup) with songs like “Bad Day” by Alvin and the Chipmunks, “It’s a Heartache” by someone, “Crazy” by Gnarls Barkley, and “Everything” by Michael Buble
10. The countdown clock on LOST– the sound a grocery store scanner makes

Sights
1. Genesis Devine– Pickles
2. That time where my nose got broken during Ultimate Frisbee after AWANA, 2004– any Frisbee (or Justin or Trent)
3. All the amazing dollar store games I’ve played– any dollar store
4. All the amazing times I’ve spent at camp– the road to Forest Glen
5. Thursday/Friday morning worship, junior and senior year at CCS– the prayer garden
6. The video we watched one time when I was teaching in junior high– Puffy Vests
7. Trips around my neighborhood, surrounding neighborhoods– my bike
8. Playing Wallball in the ISS playground in 5th grade– a blue racquetball

Smells
1. The CCS Foyer– the smell of buttery popcorn getting microwaved
2. Hotel fountains, in all the hotels we stayed at when I was younger– the smell of bleach, although for years I thought it was the smell of warm running water
3. Walking in the morning to the bus stop in Norway– the strong smell of fish and cow manure (sounds gross, but it was actually quite comforting- and it definitely woke you up)
4. One of my mom’s long-time friends that’s like an aunt to me– her perfume
5. Stopping at Sonic after school for Happy Hour with my mom and sister– the sensational smell of Sonic tacos- they taste pretty good, but there is nothing like their amazing scent
6. CCS Lunches– Otis Spunkmeyer cookies baking

Tastes
1. Eating lunch in the old, new ISS cafeteria– Otis Spunkmeyer Chocolate Chocolate Chip Muffin
2. College– Odwalla drinks
3. Visiting the student center at TASIS in England– Slush Puppies
4. Camp meals– fried chicken strips, mashed potatoes, rolls, green beans, salad with ranch and cheese, and banana pudding, washed down with a glass of something like Kool-ade

Touches
1. The dangerous terrain of England (jk)– Stinging nettles
2. Making various crafts in 5th-7th grade– burning hot glue falling on my hand, making me yelp with pain

Ahh. Memories.

—-1—– If I could, I would want to go back in time. For multiple purposes- In some cases, it would be great to make new choices in my life, try things different. In some cases, I would simply like to experience certain moments again, take in the joys, and relive the memories. In some cases, I would be happy to simply explore the world around me at different times- see myself at age three, walk around my elementary school playground, watch my own high school play, etc. I have a problem with letting go of the past…
—-2—- Even though I act like a jerk and dislike certain things, like the Twilight books and movie or the Jonas Brothers, honestly, I rarely have a real problem with them- I simply pick on random stuff and pick a side- for or against. But usually when I’m for something, I clam up. When I’m against it though, I’ll speak up… even argue and fight about it…
—-3—- I’m taking a screenwriting class right now, and I’m seeing more and more how important it is to have a good story for your movie. Some stories are absolutely horrible, and some are superb. For example, Four Weddings? Dull. Dead. Blah. I, Robot? Amazing. Complex. Engaging. Of course, I Robot was based off a well-written book- but still, the screenwriters have an important role…
—-4—- Fire absolutely amazes me. Fire and stars led to my rededication to Christ. (Well, God had a part in it as well.) But it’s amazing- it’s there, but it can’t be touched- but it’s still there. Kind of like the Spirit…
—-5—– Donald Miller’s Finding God on the Open Road inspires me to go traveling through America, meeting people, having experiences, growing, learning… of course, if that ever happens, I would need to find one or two people that would be able to go with me… ?
—-6—- I was girl-crazy when I was young. Had a girlfriend in Pre-K through 1st grade. Had a few crushes throughout elementary. (and a few more since then…) But other than one attempt at a relationship last year, and other relationships that momentarily got sidetracked by mixed feelings and signals, I’ve never had a real girlfriend, really gone out on a date, really experienced that whole kit and caboodle. But one day I will meet my wife. Of course, she’ll have to be my girlfriend first… and that might take a while…
—-7—- I am sarcastic with pretty much everyone- and some people think I’m incredibly witty, while others think I’m a jerk. If I could, I would simply try to be kind, encouraging, and loving to people, with the occasional snippet of sarcasm for fun. But it’s become so engrained in me and in my relationships, I can’t lose it. And it saddens me…
—-8—- Green is beautiful. A rich green, the color of plants, trees, grass, or an emerald… gorgeous.
—-9—- When I grow up, I want to have a room set aside as a pillow, blanket, soft stuff room- and we can watch movies in it, take naps, read, relax- whatever. And it would be the perfect temperature- always.
—-10—- When people watch a movie together, I think that people should either be completely present, so they can absorb the details, the atmosphere, the feel of the movie, and not be distracted by text messages or chores. Although I know that is hard. Either that, or people should expect to make fun of or tease or joke about the movie, the whole thing- either one or the other.
—-11—- My top 5 favorite shirts of all time- My green striped shirt from 4th grade that still fits me, my rich blue polo shirt from Urban Pipeline, my aqua blue dress shirt that I’ve worn in too many official pictures to count, my Camp Good News “God At Work” t-shirt (although I have 2-3 of them), and my 3 Honk T-shirts, with an edited design from moì
—-12—- I love to eat ice. From ice trays. Sometimes when they’re half melted. Yum.
—-13—- I’m so glad I went to Baylor, lived in Allen, got to know the people I did, came back a second year, got to hang out with the people I do, and made great plans for the next two years. If I wasn’t here… well, I guess I’d be up to something else!
—-14—- Hats never look good on me. Except the occasional cowboy hat… But really, the only hat that works on me is from a Roots store in Ottawa, Canada. And I don’t know where the hat is! I hope I can find it! I miss it.
—-15—- I love communicating. And I have this gap between my communication skills. Either, I’m great at creating a creative lesson for lots of people to learn from and engage with, or I’m wonderful at having a rich conversation with friends. But the middle part- I’m working on that…
—-16—- There is a small vendetta with me and white trucks while I’m driving on the highway. Now, usually when I’m driving I’ve got annoying people in either a truck, a white vehicle, or the ultimate annoyance, a white truck, tailgating me, trying to pass me multiple times, being too slow, driving erratically… so yeah. If you drive a white truck, sorry. It’s just from my experiences- you can save your kind by driving kind. Thank you.
—-17—- I’m ready to be a dad, and I have been for a while. I think that’s why I like mentoring and working with kids and youth- I can help guide them, help influence them, help them feel important, help them rise to their potential. I definitely feel for the parents in movies where they lose or almost lose their kids- The Invasion, The Changeling, The Forgotten (hmm… that’s a strange trio of movies… I’ll throw in Signs and 3:10 to Yuma as well…)
—-18—- I’m reading through the Bible, reading about the lives of 28 men, seeing what I can learn from their lives, from their triumphs, from the weaknesses- walking in the footsteps, you could say. I’ve struggled in doing this, but I’ve been able to do it pretty consistently for a while. I was keeping a journal as I did it, but, like always, as time went by, I wrote less and less, and haven’t been writing lately. I’m halfway through. Hopefully, I’ll have something new to study in March.
—-19—- I find that I have a problem with set patterns, set methods, set programs- at least for some things. I like to do my own thing, create my own program, use my own methods- mix and match kind of. That’s why bible study books rarely keep me engaged- but if plan my own thing (like this month and last February, where I studied peace) I can feel more engaged in it. Guess it’s a part of my arrogance- I don’t like a book telling me what to do (unless it’s the Bible)- I like to get rid of the middle man and encounter the Word one-on-one (well, I guess the Spirit is still there…)
—-20—- I’ve lived in about 5 different places in my life- Houston, Pyrford, Stavanger, Cypress, and Waco. And for the most part, I’ve followed a certain pattern of living so far… I was born in 88, and we lived in Texas for about 3-4 years, then moved to England and stayed there for 4 years, then Norway for 4 years- then to Cypress. Spent 3 years in middle school and 4 years in high school. Now I’m gonna spend 4 years in college- and then afterwards, I will probably spend about 3 years in seminary/grad school. So far it’s been 3:4:4:3:4:4:(3)… who knows? Maybe I’ll go thru life keeping the pattern up. Probably not though.
—-21—- It’s odd. I like setting my own patterns and methods- but I like following tradition and following the ways of the past, sometimes too much. I love to create and make new things- but I hate change, because it wrecks the stability in my life. I love faithfulness- in God, in family, in friends, in culture- but I am so unfaithful in my life, it’s ridiculous. I lose contact with friends all the time. I can’t keep working hard on homework- I just get bored and don’t try. I wish I could be more constant…
—-22—- I love the color cerulean- a deep, rich, lush darkish blue. Beautiful. I even love the name- though when I was younger, I used to say cerulean like this: “saruhhlean” or “karuhhlean” instead of “serooleun”. Eh.
—-23—- I’m really good at knowing campers names at camp. Usually I try to go around the first day and get to know everyone’s names- and it either sticks or takes me 1-3 more times to get their names right. So by Tuesday, I know most of their names, which some counselors can be impressed with. I guess it’s cause I care about making a connection with the kids- and knowing their names is a mighty bridge. Unfortunately, it’s not like that in real life- I don’t know the names of the some of the people that I sit next to in class, even if we wave at each other during the day… it’s bad…
—-24—- I’m mediocre at most of the things I do. hmmm… yeah…
—-25—- I love God, the God of Israel, the Father of Jesus, my Savior, the Spirit of Life inside me. I could tell you tales of how he’s changed my life- (and I’m not trying to be fake here. Really.) I wish I felt comfortable enough to bring up what God’s done/is doing in my life with friends and others- because once you talk about your faith, you really get deep and your roots intertwine with the other person’s roots- and you have a connection unlike anything else. I love making those connections, though it takes time and effort. A lot of effort. But God is strong and he helps me limp along. “YOU do not faint, YOU won’t grow weary, YOU’RE the defender of the weak, YOU comfort those in need, YOU lift us up on wings like eagles… strength will rise as we wait upon THE LORD.”

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 16 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 16 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you!

1. I hate white trucks- whenever I’m driving, I always experience jerks in white trucks. So, when I’m on the highway, I either have to pass a white truck or at least have to make sure they don’t pass me. If they do, I get furious… but i have no reason to, really…

2. I’m going to be roommates with my current roommate, Marcus, again next year! and we’re 99% sure we’re going to be in the same room again as well! Sweet!

3. I lived in Norway for 4 years- If you didn’t know that, well then shame on you or me or something…

4. I’m a Mentor in the Leadership LLC Program- and I’ve been blessed with a wonderful group of mentees! (funny word- even funnier group of people)

5. I was *this* close to starting a business where I sold crafts- especially crafts I made out of aluminum cans… they were amazing…

6. I love to play pool! When I grow up and have a house, I need to have a pool table. Need. (well… want…)

7. When I was younger, I hurt my leg while doing spinning exercises in gym. And I limped on it for a while, and then finally my mom took me to the hospital to see if I could get X-Rays. And just as we were about to go in, I told her it was all better and we left- because I was scared that X-Rays meant that they would cut you open or something… eh- I was in Kindergarten…

8. I think that life comes down to peace, eyes, and trees

9. The best crayon in the box? Cerulean

10. I am very bad at having my mind and heart stuck in the past. I’ve struggled with this, well, since we moved to Norway… so a long time. I need to realize that the present is beautiful and wonderful and I’ll have more joy by living in Today than by living in Yesterday.

11. The Roman writer Seneca has taught me a lot about number ten- You should read his writings

12. I love to work with kids, youth, younger people- If you didn’t know that, really… really. Come on? You didn’t know that? Seriously? wow… shame on you.

13. I’m short and have a big head, and yes, I’ve felt awkward about this before (many times) but I’m okay with how I am now…

14. I hope that in the future I will be a writer. I love to write. I’ve written stories since I was in Pre-K and I hope to grow better at it as time goes by- but I hate writing papers. Hate papers.

15. I can be a real jerk sometimes. I tease people and joke around but then it gets so annoying that it makes people mad. I’m sorry if I’ve been jerky to you. Really.

16. Chips and Queso from Taco Cabana, Lemon-Berry Slush from Sonic, Chalupas from Taco Bell, and some Oreos and a little milk = One Wonderful Meal

while at the Dr. Pepper museum, I discovered a secreat memo hidden behind a display… this memo contained the secret ingredients of Dr. Pepper- if I die, you know that the DP Mafia got me, and I just want to say I leave all my possessions to my family and friends…
here goes nothing.

1. Pineapple
2. Cinnamon
3. Chocolate
4. Peppermint
5. Fiji Water
6. A Spoonful of Sugar
7. Medicine
8. Rainbows
9. Clementines
10. Awesomeness
11. Literacy
12. Hint of Beatific Vision
13. The Color Green
14. Gingerbread
15. Snowflakes
16. Confidence
17. Essence of Chuck Norris
18. Laughter of Children
19. Subatomic Particles
20. Doctors
21. Peppers
22. The Number 22
23. The Personality of Jim Carrey

Keep it secret, Keep it safe, and keep drinking Dr. Pepper

Okay, so 2 months ago I wrote a note about my life… Here is most of it…

* I miss living a life with the things that fill up my life.
*Imagine life as a glass. You can fill your glass with all the things you love. But sometimes it gets so full, it overflows and gets stressful and overwhelming and you get exhausted about everything. So you empty it out and just relax for a bit. Or a long, long time.

* My glass has been empty, and I feel somewhat empty. I’ve been filling it with:
– TV
– Sleeping In
– Movies
– Relaxation
– Internet

* And it doesn’t fill me up. I need to fill my glass with
– Friends
– Engaging Reading
– Doing jobs that need to be done (researching colleges, cleaning up my house)
– Working with younger people
– Things that matter
– Well, um- God.

———— WELL, HOW AM I DOING NOW? ————-

– TV- not much, actually. wow. weird. but good.
– Sleeping in- Actually, just sleep itself has been bad. Whether it’s just choosing sleep over doing homework, spending time with God, being smart, etc.
– Movies- not usually.
– Relaxation- Yeah. I’ve been learning that sleep and relaxation is that which you pepper your life with. it is not a dish or a main course. It is seasoning and spice that makes life good.
– Internet- Yeah, mainly facebook and email and myspace and random searching. But not that bad.

– Friends- Yes. I’ve found such great community in the LEAD. Maybe not all are best friends, but I have some GREAT friends. Truly great. And I love to talk, spend time with them, grab lunch, hang out. Sometimes, too much
– Engaging Reading- Lately, I’ve been doing some great reading. Both in school and out of it. Finished Knowing God recently, and am digging into the Yancey and Buechner books I got for my birthday. Yay.
– Doing jobs that need to be done- FAILURE. I’m bad at getting the necessary stuff done. I need to take joy in each of these little jobs.
– Working with younger people- I originally saw this semester as the semester I would devote to working with kids and discovering what area of children’s work I should pursue. That’s been baloney. I’ve been so busy, that even though I’m supposed to do some work with kids for a class, I haven’t been able to. It was great to go home and see some cool people back home, but I need to find some people around Waco to be pouring into.
– Things that matter- Recently I was learning from Seneca about how to live a full life, but for the past couple days, I haven’t been wise. I need to jump back on the smart living bandwagon. Because there’s a band. And it’s rockin.
– God- God, how are we doing? I feel good. Been reading Your word lately. Been praying between classes, a word per step, slow but steady. Thanks for grace. Thanks for Your work in my life.

Life’s definitely full. Maybe not fully fulfilling, but full. Thank you God. And thanks me.
Much love.
Evan/uno

i miss having a full life.
hard to explain, but i will if so inquired.

–

I miss living a life with the things that fill up my life.
Imagine life as a glass. You can fill your glass with all the things you love. But sometimes it gets so full, it overflows and gets stressful and overwhelming and you get exhausted about everything. So you empty it out and just relax for a bit. Or a long, long time.
When I was out at camp, life was constantly overwhelmingly good. So after camp, I wanted to take it easy for a few days. And now it’s been about four weeks, and I’ve done barely anything of worth. I want to see some friends before I head off to Baylor, and I have to be proactive about it, and there are some people I won’t see, simply because I’ve been lazy. My glass has been empty, and I feel somewhat empty. I’ve been filling it with:
– TV
– Sleeping In
– Movies
– Relaxation
– Internet

And it doesn’t fill me up. I need to fill my glass with
– Friends
– Engaging Reading
– Doing jobs that need to be done (researching colleges, cleaning up my house)
– Working with younger people
– Things that matter
– Well, um- God.

That last one has been not a strong part of my life lately, and it’s my own fault. Eh, nothing new. Fortunately, he loves me no matter what. I wish i was more proactive about letting Him into my life.
Fortunately, I’ve been including a very important part of my life into my glass: FAMILY. It’s been great spending time with my dad, my mom, and my sister. I wish that I could spend MORE time with them, but our time together is short, so we must enjoy it while we have it.

Fill your glass with things you love. Like Chocolate-Banana milkshakes. but if you have a milkshake…
“I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE!” (reference to There Will Be Blood)

peace out everyone. peace… out.
Evan.

There once was a man who made muffins every Tuesday morning. He was approximately 93 years old, however when he jogged (every Wednesday morning) he was as spry as an octogenarian. Well, this man, let’s call him Nate, for that was his name, loved to make muffins. Pumpkin. Spice. Blueberry. Strawberry. Chocolate. Coconut. Granola. Lime. Even Poppy Seed, though he did sometimes worry about testing positive for opium. Well, every Monday night Nate would gather up his ingredients and go to sleep at around 6:45 (unless his granddaughter Janie was calling from NYU- then he would postpone bedtime for about 30 minutes, though it did slow him down the following morning). Well, Nate would wake up at around 3:00 (yes, 3:00) and begin cooking his muffins. He had only one oven, so he would often pack it with 3 or 4 trays. Some muffins were baked in his toaster, whilst some were made in the microwave (though they were somewhat more gooey). He even found a way to cook a few in the fireplace (though they were somewhat more crunchy). Well, at around 6:00, Nate would have around 230 muffins. Sometimes 250, but usually closer to 230. Well, he would sit down, take two strawberry muffins and a glass of milk and eat them whilst listening to his Frank Sinatra records. After 20 minutes, he would get up and pack up his muffins into Tupperware (he was a Tupperware salesman for 13 years and won many salesman awards, thus gaining a collection of approximately 450 Tupperware pieces). He would load the containers into his ’92 Corolla, plug in his iPod, set it to shuffle, and pull out of driveway (of course, he only had one song on his iPod- “Come Fly With Me” by Frank”- though if you pointed out the pointlessness of appointing the iPod to shuffle mode, he would point you towards the door, even if you were outside). He would drive at 30 mph (though the speed limit was 45) down to the City Hall. He would park across the street in front of Bonnie’s Soda Shop (dropping off 8 muffins, per their deal). He would cross the road, carrying a stack of 14 Tupperwear containers. To the left of the steps of City Hall would be sitting a folding table and a stool (set up by Uma Polski, who did this for the cost of 4 muffins). Nate would take his containers, empty each one, lining up the muffins in alphabetical order, starting with Apple muffins and ending with Yam muffins (he experimented with Zebra flavored muffins in the 80s, however PETA called him for 3 weeks during “Frasier” and he got so frustrated he burned his zebra muffin recipe, his TV, his phone, and his latest copy of Newsweek- then he went and picked up a new TV and phone and subscribed to TIME). Well, after organizing the muffins, it would usually be 8:00, though he sometimes finished at 7:45. He would sit down and pull out his cell phone to call his grandson Ernie to wake him up for his 8:30 Biology class. Then Nate would hover over the muffins with a flyswatter, guarding his creations with tender loving care. Around 8:15, the usual people showed up. Henrietta Smithers, mayor; Janice Worth, City Hall receptionist; Ira Opplegang, host and producer of The Good Morning Show (City Hall doubled as the town TV station). Each would pick up two muffins, thank Nate for his handiwork, and then head in. And then Nate would sit there for another 8 hours, and finally realize that only three people worked at City Hall. He would pull out his Palm Pilot and make a note to remember to reduce his muffin numbers by more than 200. Unfortunately, Nate had never actually learned to turn on his Palm Pilot, so week after week he would forget his muffin number blunder and make the same number of muffins that he had been making ever since 1970, when the city was five times the size. So, each evening, Nate would take his leftover muffins to the local pond and feed them to the swans, the ducks, the crows, and the pigeons, and any other birds that came by. In the town of Dowby, North Carolina, the population barely hovered over 34. However, in the 40 years that Nate had been making muffins, the bird population of Dowby increased exponentially. In fact, the ratio of human to bird was around 1:358. In fact, the Guinness Book of World Records gave Dowby the title of “Most Birdiest Town in America”; however, as Johann Redgraves, the town’s bookseller/librarian, had left in 1997 after making a fortune selling Beanie Babies, the townspeople weren’t that up to date on the news stories. Well, Nate would sit on the park bench and stare into the feathery water and dream. He dreamed of a place where people ate muffins all day long and sang Frank Sinatra songs while doing the limbo and playing Monopoly. And he would whisper “Blue Eyes, I wish I could find Muffinland and be the king of the muffins.” And then the sprinklers would turn on and Nate would head back to City Hall, pack up his Tupperware containers, and head home.
On April 23, 2008, Nate woke up, made the muffins, drove to City Hall, realized his blunder, and headed to the park. However, he never made it home. You see, about 40 years ago Nate started taking a pill called Olikicillin, made by the Werkle Drug Co., located just outside of Dowby. However, about 35 years, Werkle went out of business; however, Nate didn’t know this. All he knew was that one day Olikicillin cost 3.50 a bottle, and the next day it cost 12 cents. Never to pass up a bargain, he purchased approximately 3400 bottles of Olikicillin. Now, the reason Werkle went out of business was because the pill Olikicillin, designed for arthritis comfort, had a small dose of steroids in it. Well, their researchers discovered that the steroids had an interesting affect on wildlife. Namely, their monkeys began to grow extra eyeballs and their snakes grew about 4 times their normal length. Well, PETA heard about this and organized a protest, a petition, and a boycott. It worked, and Werkle went out of business. Well, Nate continued using Olikicillin, uninformed of the freakish affect on nature. The only strange thing it did in his life was notably his bad memory and spry knees and ankles (I did say he jogged like he was 60). Well, on this Tuesday evening, as Nate sat there on the bench, he began singing his favorite Sinatra song.
“Come fly with me, come fly let’s fly away…”
And so, the birds of Dowby, North Carolina obeyed their leader’s voice, and, with the strength of a thousand T-Rexes, lifted Nate up off the ground. They carried him high into the sky, thanks to their steroid-induced strength. They carried Nate to the land of Muffistan, in the heart of Asia Minor. There they dropped him through the skylight of the royal palace. Nate fell on the king of Muffistan, killing him instantly. But it was okay, because the king didn’t pay his taxes. Well, the royal subjects found Nate in the morning (the birds carried the king’s body to a nearyby ossuary), and believing it to be a sign from God (and partly because they didn’t like their original king), the citizens of Muffistan put on the hottest record that was out- Frank Sinatra’s Greatest Hits, pulled out the limbo poles and the Monopoly boards, and crowned Nate with a golden poppy seed muffin. He cried and cried and called his grandchildren. They weren’t impressed. But Nate was overjoyed and suddenly felt the left side of his body go limp. He smelled toast.
And it was over.
That is, the Muffistani national game of “Tranquilizer Tag/Toast Hunt” was over.
Nate lived to be 145 (Okicillin was pretty amazing) and he ruled the kingdom with great wisdom and muffinistic enlightenment.
But the kids back home in Dowby never forgot their friend, the Muffin Man. Partly because every year the town did a pageant in his honor and the kids had to sing 12 songs about muffins, not to mention learn choreography. It was the pits.
But still, the Muffin Man never really died. In our hearts. Right?

His Royal Highness Nathan Silazar- 1915-2060- May he always be immuffinned in our hearts.

Thanks to people who read my note and to those who read my note and commented or talked to me about it. That was after a weekend at home and the transition from such a comfortable place to a not-yet-comfortable place always provokes strong emotions. You know?
I am surrounded by many kind people, a good number of caring friends, and some older students that have helped me time and time again. God has blessed me with some people that will soon be good friends.
I am studying for life, opening my mind, growing in knowledge, wisdom, and understanding. God is using my major to help me decide what I love and what I want to do with my life.
I am in a place with so many spiritual places, it’s hard to choose where to go. Churches, ministries, small groups- sometimes it’s just overwhelming. But I know that as long as I put God first, it will all work out.

Thanks again. And I am doing good. Just one of those down moments- and now I’m on an up moment. And I might have another down moment- but hopefully I’ll be prepared for next time.

Evan

Why is Norway so attractive, Camp so appealing, and Cypress so pleasing?
Why is the past so much better than the present, and why is the future even better?

I have been struggling alot lately. With apathy, nostalgia, homesickness, reminiscing, and dreaming. Yes, I’ve been struggling with dreaming. You see, I am not satisfied with the life I live.
What does that mean?

I am lacking some things in my life here in Waco.

– Friends= Time + Effort + Holy Spirit Whisperings—— It’s always taken me a long time to make good friends. Should it be any different now? I try to put in effort, yet sink back into apathy when I can’t be pleased. As for the Holy Spirit, I’m not sure…

– Home= Time + Experiences + Friends + Purpose—— Once again, it will take time. I need many good experiences to make me feel at home in a new place. Usually when we moved from place to place it would take me a year or two to settle. It helped once I had those friends, but of course, that takes time. I need purpose in my life. Whether its in a relationship, a job, a service, or a project. I need a purpose to ground me.

– Mentees/Kids= Time + Effort + Experiences—— God has given me a heart for working with kids. He encourages me, enlightens me, strengthens me, livens me, and teaches me through kids and especially through mentorship relationships. These take time, effort, and shared experiences. Nothing to be rushed, right?

– Church= Time + Effort + Experiences + Holy Spirit Whisperings + Friends + Purpose—- This one is a hard one. Do I try something that’s different, something that’s similar to my home church, something that most of my friends go to, something that has great outreach, something that has a good pastor, etc. etc. etc. I don’t know. I wish that the Holy Spirit would just shout an answer into my heart, but I know He doesn’t work like that (usually….)

– Satisfaction = Meaning/Purpose + Pleasures—— I cannot be satisfied unless I know that my situations lead to Something Greater. And, though it is selfish and prideful, it is human and true, I feel a need for pleasures. I don’t mean food and sex and wine, but enjoyment from friends, mentees, church, nature, media, etc.

Why is the past better?
Because the time’s been spent, the effort’s been made, and all the fruits lie across the sea, waiting to be grasped. Unfortunately, the sea is the sea of time, and it cannot be crossed.
Why is the future better?
Because in the future I can picture myself as Superman or God- able to do all things at once, and do them all right. Success surrounds me like an aura and all my dreams are realities. Unfortunately, my dreams of the future are nothing more than fog and mist.
Why is the present so hard?
I can’t see anything. My mind and heart are so heavy with desires to jump forward or backward that I am unable to do anything about my current situation. I see people walking around like trees, but I am able to discern which ones God is sending my way. I feel like everyone around me are like grasshoppers to my little ant self. I sit and sigh and cry and wait for the future to come, unable to realize that my future is my past plus a little time.

My past and my present are so different. I have left everything behind. But is that everything really EVERYTHING? Could God be saving me some EVERYTHING around the corner and I just don’t know it or see it? Maybe. But as for now, the scales are still on my eyes and the haze is still potent.

I don’t want to end on a positive note like I always do. I want to be negative and depressed and sad and blah blah blah, even though I know it’s pathetic. So I will do this. I’m putting down two songs from Sara Groves (a fav musician of mine). One describes my problem, (though the future is the present) one describes my ideal self (more general than this specific plight). Thank you Sara.

Painting Pictures of Egypt
I don’t want to leave here
I don’t want to stay
It feels like pinching to me either way
The places I long for the most
Are the places where I’ve been
They are calling after me like a long lost friend

It’s not about losing faith
It’s not about trust
It’s all about comfortable
When you move so much
The place I was wasn’t perfect
But I had found a way to live
It wasn’t milk or honey
But then neither is this

CHORUS:
I’ve been painting pictures of Egypt
Leaving out what it lacked
The future seems so hard
And I want to go back
But the places that used to fit me
Cannot hold the things I”ve learned
And those roads closed off to me
While my back was turned

The past is so tangible
I know it by heart
Familiar things are never easy to discard
I was dying for some freedom
But now I hesitate to go
Caught between the promise
And the things I know

BRIDGE:
If it comes too quick
I may not recognize it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?
If it comes too quick
I may not appreciate it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?

Past the Wishing
I’m standing at the foot of this mountain
Wishing so bad that I could touch that sky
But in the time it takes to make my wish
I never take a step and I never try

I wish that I were closer to Jesus
But not enough to get me out of bed
For an early morning prayer before the
Rushes of my life take me instead

I’m past the wishing
Past the wishing
Past the wishing

I’m gazing in these deep well waters
Where the pennies of my life have all been cast
I’ve decided I am going to save my money
To do something that lasts

You’ve shown me my man of Macedonia
You’re calling me further on
And I’m tired of saying it’s a nice idea
I wish it could be done

I don’t wish that I could go I am going
I don’t wish that I could be I am being
I don’t wish that I could do it I am doing
By the grace of God I am doing

So that’s it. My World, with all its specks of grace and humanity. I know it’s pretty pathetic, but it’s honest. Hopefully I can write a note full-of-hope soon.
ec weppler

I wonder- what if Jesus’ family ( I normally don’t use this word, but it’s the only one that fits) sucked?

He came to experience life as a human. And, well, most children in the world grow up in hard families. Actually, many children in the Bible grew up in messed up families. Jacob and Esau and their parents were a little off. David’s dad didn’t consider him a son to be considered. Moses’ sister and brother often fought with him over different stuff.
We see Jesus’ brothers telling him to do stuff from time to time. And at one time Mary and the brothers are outside and Jesus is told, and he replies that his true brothers, mother, and family are the ones that do God’s will…
I was just thinking about this. I was listening to “Face of Christ” by Chris Rice and it prompted it. I wonder if Jesus ever saw his parents fight. If he was ever over-punished. If his brothers (or sisters?) were ever treated better than him, or vice versa. If they ever insulted him, made him feel bad, weren’t there for him- I wonder… it wouldn’t make his family “evil” or so- just human…
Anyway- just a thought…